Escalators & Constipators

Come on, it looks more difficult than it actually is. You can do it! 

Take a good look at this picture. Let´s say you are in downtown Helsinki and you are approaching this site. Then let´s imagine these escalators in a total rush hour at 8 in the morning. Now tell me how you would use them together with a friend / collegue / lover / parent / nurse / etc. and / or just the other people on the escalator. I will be able to tell you straight if you are a native or a foreigner.

The Finns are able to perform the following cunning stunt when using this technical marvel: They form a line on the right side and let others who might be in a hurry (rush hour, mind you) walk by on the left. Unthinkable for example in Germany. Ain´t it funny? I bet a common cliché would be that Germans like to form straight lines, but no way, Sir! It´s rather the opposite!

Let´s do our little exercise from the beginning once more. This time we imagine the same escalators in a total rush hour in let´s say, Düsseldorf, Germany. This time I can tell you that the place would be absolutely jammed with people. If you have 30 seconds to get up there because you have a bus to catch you are doomed. This bus will leave without you, no doubt about it. You will never make it in time unless you mow your way through the human obsticles with a machete. Well, one of my teachers always said when I used this case as an excuse for being late: "Get up earlier!" I can´t argue with that but this is not the point here. 

How come Finns are able to make room for others while it seems impossible for Germans? I know some will play the population card now: 82 million Krauts to 5 million Finns and their countries are about the same size. Yes, you might take that into account and of course that means that Finnland just provides way more space for its inhabitants. But do you really want to tell me that a busy city like Helsinki doesn´t look like an anthill in the morning? That Mika, Jussi and Pekka can´t possibly constipate an escalator because there is nobody else but them? I´m not talking about any small village in the countryside. The countryside is what makes Finland so big compared to the number of inhabitants, there is countryside without end. I´m talking about Helsinki, a city that matches Düsseldorf almost exactly. Same amount of people, same hurries, same shit, different day. Here and there people are late for work but here in Helsinki they have a pretty good chance to catch the bus that saves them from their bosses´ anger. But why?

My conclusion is a fundamental difference in attitude and social behavior. Finns don´t have to be told to line up on the right side of an escalator, they just do it. They don´t question it and regard it as a matter of course. Germans in contrast regard it as a matter of course to question everything, especially when it is totally pointless to do so. It becomes a matter of principal and the principal is me, myself and I. Why do I have to make room? It is my right to stand in your way! Why can´t you use the stairs? Why do you bother me? The same pathological behavior applies to the road traffic. In Germany you know how to drive a car, no one else. Only morons on the street, you are the only sane person in a madhouse. And of course you let them know, let´s teach them all a lesson. The biggest problem about this stupid attitude is the fact that it leads to many avoidable dangerous situations in the traffic. But you can notice it already by the usage of the car´s horn, actually meant as a signal for danger. The Germans use it more often as "Argumentationsverstärker", as a tool to prove their point. A pointless point. Every morning on the streets of Germany: Concerto grosso! I paid a lot of attention to this over here and I can say with utter conviction that what you hear on the streets of Helsinki is: Silencio.